Boxed wine comparison

When I think of boxed wines, I think of Franzia, cheapness and desperation. Although I’m not a wine snob, I’ve never been a fan of table wines. However, there must be a huge market, because if you go in any grocery store’s liquor department, you’ll find a growing selection of boxed wines, especially in the 3L size, ranging in price from $12.99 to $24.99.

How do you know which to buy? With the help of some friends, I sampled the pinot noir varietal of several brands, and here are our thoughts.

First, it should be noted that these wines are all fairly mild in flavor with hardly any character or aftertaste, so even non-wine fans could gulp down a glass. That said, Black Box ($20.99) was a favorite and one we would buy again. It was drier than the others, and your nose should detect a hint of strawberry to it. Boxed wines tend to be on the sweeter side, and I appreciated that Black Box didn’t go overboard like its counterparts.

On the other hand, if you do like sweet, Corbett Canyon ($12.99) is your best bet. Several of us remarked that it smelled like Concord grapes, and thus, it didn’t resemble a pinot noir. Still, it’s hard to go wrong with that price.

Naked Grape ($17.98), meanwhile, falls in the mid-level price point. If you know beer, this is the New Glarus Totally Naked of pinot noirs: super light, highly quaff-able and a bit flowery. Similarly, Wine Cube ($18.99) was weak in flavor and also seemed slightly watery. Basically, there was nothing distinct about this wine.

The same can’t be said about Big House ($18.99). We rooted for it because of its beautiful box design and funny name (“pinot evil”), but the wine was stale in taste. We unanimously ranked Big House dead last. (This happens all the time in the world of wine, beer and spirits–often times the best-designed container has the worst contents.)

Finally, we come to Folonari ($19.99), self-promoted as “No 1. Italian wine in bag in box” [sic]. It had the least amount of fruity aromas and most resembled table wine. While we enjoyed it, we were upset that the bag was placed in the box the wrong way, in that the spout was not on the same side as the opening.

Just to show you how many brands of boxed wine exist, here are others that we didn’t try: Vin Vault ($17.99), Bota Box ($19.99), Fish Eye ($16.99), House Wine ($21.99) and Loft ($24.99). At the end of the day, most, if not all, boxed wines fall into a limited spectrum of taste and distinction from one another, so don’t be too afraid to buy any particular one. And hey, if you don’t like it, at least you only wasted $20.

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