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Restaurant names

Sunday, December 11th, 2011

Sometimes coming up with a name is really hard. Have you ever had to name a band, fantasy football team or baby? I’ve read and heard of many instances in which the name of (blank) was a result of people giving up and just settling on something.

What would you name a restaurant? Seems like the easiest way to go would be to use your name (e.g. McDonald’s), the type of cuisine (e.g. Pizza Hut) or maybe a play on words (e.g. Pink Taco).

The Pittsburgh Post-Gazette wrote, “[F]or more upscale restaurants, the stakes are higher. A creative name can set a restaurant apart, but it can also lead to misunderstandings. Ideally, a name should convey something about the establishment, such as its style or cuisine, or even its location. It should be easy to pronounce and spell, yet different enough to suggest that the restaurant has something special to offer.”

With that in mind, let’s take a look at some names of restaurants in the Madison area:

  • 43 North. This refers to the latitude on which both Madison and owner Shinji Muramoto’s hometown of Sapporo, Japan sit. I like it.
  • Dumpling Haus vs. Essen Haus. The former is confusing. Is this some Asian-German hybrid? Nope. Meanwhile, there’s no confusing the German theme of the latter.
  • Tipsy Cow. When in doubt, make your place sound Wisconsin-y. Do you honestly think the beer Spotted Cow would sell as well if it was named Plain Ol’ New Glarus Beer? Seems like traffic at Tipsy Cow has improved over its predecessor, King & Mane (a great play on words based on its location, by the way).
  • Game Time Sports Bar and Grill and Players Sports Bar & Grill vs. Legends Sports Bar & Grill and Stadium Sports Bar & Eatery. The first two would be great names if it wasn’t for the fact that they’re not sports bars. Essentially, there’s nothing to distinguish them from any other bar to watch the game. On the other hand, Legends and Stadium are outstanding sports bars, and thus deserve to keep the word “sports” in their respective names.
  • Porktropolis, Fat Sandwich Company and Wasabi. I like these names because you know exactly what you’re getting before you walk in.

If you were to open a restaurant, what cuisine would you serve, what part of town would it be located and most importantly, what would you call it?

Food porn

Sunday, September 25th, 2011

The other day, I was re-watching the episode of Travel Channel’s “No Reservations” that featured food porn. Host Anthony Bourdain ate such tantalizing delicacies such as sushi, prime rib and cured meats that it did what food porn is supposed to do: it made me hungry.

Subsequently, I decided to do some research on the topic. Wikipedia says food porn can “arouse a desire to eat” or glorify “food as a substitute for sex.” Food to replace sex? To each his own, I guess.

I checked out foodporndaily.com and foodporn.net. Both sites display high resolution photos of carefully pieced-together dishes, ranging from appetizers to entrees to desserts. Since I had just eaten lunch, the photos–while striking–did not rekindle my hunger. Next time I’ll wait a few hours.

Food porn also is loosely related to food fetish. The PG version describes those who enjoy a specific type of food porn, such as deep fried foods or Thai cuisine. The R rated version describes using food to generate sexual arousal (also known as “food play”).

I can’t imagine many Americans haven’t looked at food porn regularly in their lives. Just think of most advertisements from restaurants and even grocery stores: Juicy burgers. Steaming hot pizza. Sizzling steaks. Finger-licking good chicken. Got you hungry, didn’t I?

Dating: eating and drinking

Sunday, September 11th, 2011

I’ve recently read some amusing lists from across the web on what not to order while on a date, and what your beverage choice says about you. Here are my favorites:

  • Garlic and onions: I thought this was obvious, but I didn’t realize that the oils from garlic and onions stay in the bloodstream for 2-3 days, so don’t eat avoid these items prior to your date.
  • Martini: I see martinis as a drink you order at the bar while waiting for your table. “If you’re a guy, you’re trying to impress (and it’s probably working). If you’re a girl drinking a dirty martini, you’re a hot mess–the dirtier, the messier, the hotter.” Interesting.
  • Vodka Gimlet: “You’re a huge dork, but you hope sort of in a cool way?” I could see this. What, you couldn’t just order a martini? (See above)
  • White wine: “You’re definitely a woman. You’re possibly a little uptight.” Yikes, seems a little harsh. I know a lot of women who order white wine all the time. Now that I think of it … j/k
  • Ice cream cone: Apparently, you should generally avoid foods you have to lick to avoid becoming a “frantically licking moron.” Plus, it says “No guy needs that kind of pressure. No woman wants that kind of attention.” Hahaha.
  • Wrong situations for certain drinks: If you order a beer while at a cocktail bar, “you’re overprotective of your manhood or unadventurous.” On the other hand, if you order a cocktail while at a dive bar, you’re just plain “insufferable.” Actually, I’ve seen someone order a Merlot, and another person order a dirty martini, while at a dive bar. You could see everyone in the bar turn their heads toward them.

Sources: The Daily Meal, Betty Confidential and the Hot Dish

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